As most of you know, I grew up on a ranch. Not the cool kind, like horse ranch, or cattle ranch… a chicken ranch. And let me tell ya, there is nothing romantic about a chicken ranch. But they do have chickens! We would get a few hundred chicks every couple of months. They were two days old and were supposed to be all hens, since my dad was an egg producer. Well along about 4 or 5 days old it was always apparent that they missed a few roosters. These were destined for the fry pan. Now I don’t remember how old they had to get before they became dinner, but here is the "recipe".
*Find an old galvanized pipe about 4 feet long.
*Grab your "dinner chicken" out of the cage and hold by both legs.
*Hike up your dress to just above your knees and spread your legs with one foot on one end of the pipe.
*Bend over and insert chicken’s head under the pipe so the pipe lays just across the neck.
*Place other foot on other end of the pipe, bending at the knees.
*Hold tight to the chicken legs, straighten knees, straighten your back, look up, and pull on chicken legs.
*When head pops off swear softly under your breath and toss chicken away about 5 feet.
*When chicken stops running around (yes, they do this) go gather him up.
*Cut around the "vent" and pull out the innards with one clean jerk (I think this is an Olympic event in some 3rd world countries).
*Toss the innards on a sheet of newspaper, pick out the gizzard, liver and heart and discard the rest.
*Cut off the legs at the knees and discard. (Except in Africa where they are saved for the cooking pot… yum, right Tyler?).
*Dip the chicken in a pot of boiling water to loosen the feathers and make it smell really good (NOT!)
*Pluck off all the feathers, even the little bitty ones. (Granny didn’t always follow this step very well).
*Cut up chicken in various pieces.
*Roll the chicken pieces in some whipped up eggs.
*Roll the chicken in some flour that you just kinda dump on the counter top.
*Fry the chicken for a while in some Crisco in an electric skillet at a pretty hot temperature.
*Salt and pepper to taste.
Now some suggestions: If you’re frying up white leghorns (pronounced "leg-erns") you will need about 1 chicken per person. There ain’t much meat on them, they are bred for laying eggs, not for eating. Second, and perhaps most important, don’t forget to clean up the flour on the counter right away. If you don’t, some young boy is likely to come along and slap it with his hand. This is very entertaining as Granny lets out a delightful yelp and chases the boy around the house. This could happen several times if you don’t clean it up right away. So be sure to do that. I’m not sure you will be able to find the boy to help clean it all up. He usually doesn’t come back until it’s time to eat the chicken.
That’s the recipe I grew up with. If I recall right, it’s mighty tasty. And Granny loved cooking it. Even the young boy part.
I love my Granny! She was an amazing inspiration and role model for me. I wanted to add a picture I put together composing one of her quotes. Towards the end of her life as she was battling Alzheimer's, she had periods of amazing insight. This is one of them.